Alicia Keys Looking Hot But…

Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

The Hills = Best Show on TV

I came up with an equation the other night that ranks The Hills as being the best show on TV. Listen carefully because this equation is complicated, it took me about five minutes to do the calculations and that is only because I am somewhat of a genius. It goes a little something like this, Lauren + Audrina + Whitney + Heidi – Lauren’s friend/ male douches = Best Show on TV. Now let me explain the way I came up with this, I was flipping through the channels when Audrina and Lauren caught my eye, they aren’t that hot but they do rank as solid 8 out 10’s. So I began thinking back, how many shows feature so many girls that I would throw it to? The answer not many, in fact I can’t think of a show that is about nothing that has so many girls that I would bang. And on the plus side sometimes those douches that nail the girls on the show say something funny that justifies them being on the show, other then teaching men everywhere how to treat spoiled rich girls, for the layman that is treat them like shit and they will always come back for more.

**update: on second thought after quickly scanning the photos below I have downgraded my initial rating of an 8 to between a 7-7.5; still equals best show ever though

Obsession of the Week: Britain

This week all I could think about was Britain and it’s impending recession that is going to level that country. Just playing, all could think about is the hot pieces of ass that have come from that great little island. There are way too many to write about so I will concentrate on only the few that make me feel like jerking it. First since I already did a post on her I am not going to mention my angel Kate Beckinsale. I’m going to start of with an oldy but a goody, Rachel Stevens, this girl was the only good thing about that Spice Girl rip off S Club 7. The rest of the girls looked like her retarded cousins when she walked into the room, like posh she was the best looking of the bunch but the worst singer, and therefore the most popular.

The next girl that I am crazy over from England is Cheryl Tweedy. I always thought that girls with dimples where more cute than sexy but after laying eyes on Cheryl Tweedy, I stand corrected. The popular saying now a days is that Cheryl Tweedy is trying to be like Posh, and at first glance the similarities are abundantly present, but unlike Posh Cheryl Tweedy is still really sexy and that differentiates her in my books.

The final girl on the list is a little of a butter face but her body is too crazy for words. I, of course am talking about Jennifer Ellison, this slut has the greatest body that I have ever seen. If her face matched her body the world would implode upon itself, it would be that unreal. I remember seeing her in UK Maxim when they were ranking the hottest women ever adn she came in the top 20 at the age of seventeen. And her body was still F’n crazy.

Honorable Mentions:

Keeley Hazel

Kelly Brook