The Greatest Place on Earth

Well, this past week I went to what has become my wonderland. You know how kids love amusement parks well, the clubs have become my amusement park. And let me get this straight, I well defend the honor of any dancer to anybody, well not any dancer but most of them. You will run into your fair share of pimped-out, coked-out hustlers but those are easy to spot and easy to avoid. One rule I like to use is if the girl is white and has those tacky press on nails that are three inches long and she wears some sort of chain then you know to stay away. The funny thing is that these girls are so bad at there job that there really is no point in taking them to the back anyways. 

Can someone please explain to me why people decide that when two people are smoking outside that they can open up to all the perverted things that they do at strip clubs. I do not want to hear what girl sucked you off at the back or how much you paid for that service. I also do not want to hear about the threesome that cost you a weeks pay or how much money a girl hustled you for. Get this straight, dancers are there for one purpose and that is to make as much money as possible. It is an unfortunate side of the business but a lot of these girls are being beaten and fed drugs to keep them as amicable as possible.

One of the funniest things that I have heard is the girl that is actually dancing to put herself through school but cannot leave the business because they make too much money. I mean would you leave a job that is paying you a lot of money for an entry position job where you are looked down upon and treated basically as bad as a stripper is. I want the stigma that goes along with stripping to go away, that way we can get girls that basically pimp themselves out to get higher positions. Don’t get me wrong guys would do the same thing if they were in that position but getting a sex crazed supervisor/boss that would offer a guy a higher salary if he were to go down on her are few and far between. I mean, I would live on my knees if it would guarantee me a six figure salary by the time I was 30, but thats just me.

My point is that strippers are doing the same thing but just out in the open. Sure they have problems and are very easy to bed if you were to meet them for the first time out of the club. The problems do outweigh the good parts, but let me get this point across the positive aspects are usually only related to the bedroom, where your mind will be blown. The negative parts are that the girl is in all likely-hood fucking crazy and will want to make you fucking kill yourself, but the same thing can be said about any quote-on-quote normal girl. 

So my conclusion is that hooking up with a stripper can be fun for a few months but make sure that you are the trusting type because dropping off a girl at work that consists of her taking off her clothes and grinding on some dudes lap for 6 hours can be hard to swallow. 

Here are some videos of wannabe strippers 

Jessica Alba

Random Girls

Salma Hayek

Lindsey Lohan

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Madonna Fools the World

I came across a lot of articles today proclaiming that Madonna is an amazing musician and giving her all the credit for her career. I’m here to point out something that is painfully clear to anybody that is not gay or a women, Madonna is her generations version of Britney Spears. She is an overrated songstress who has succeeded mainly due to the hard work of her producers and image handlers. She has a terrible voice, can’t dance and looks like shit. When people are talking about good music they should not even think about Madonna. Here’s a quick list of real musicians that should be ashamed that people consider the dribble that Madonna releases music; Michael Jackson, Prince, Elton John, Led Zeppelin and so on. Even Amy Whinehouse is a better musician than Madonna can ever hope to be. I will give her some credit though, she can take what is hot, steal it, incorporate it into her own music, making it shit as a result, example her rapping in American Life, her teaming with the hottest producer out right now Tim. She tries to stir controversy just so that she seems like a big deal. Guess what, any real music fan knows that she is great at marketing her shit but her shit is just that, shit! So if most women and gay people want to be taken seriously when it comes to their taste in music please start worshipping someone that at least has some musical talent, say Elton John, he’s gay right?

Kristen Bell Gets More Mainstream

Who the hell is Kristen Bell? Those words passed through my lips when I first saw her on Heroes about a month ago. Yeah she is cute in the girl next door kind of way, except for the fact that the three playboy bunnies have taken that phrase away from any normal looking girl. It’s good to see that Kristen Bell is still getting work in Hollywood after the whole geek-chic phase passed on.

Kristen Bell vantity Fair

I have a friend that looked like Seth Cohen from the O.C, I watched how his pussy rate sky rocketed solely based on the resemblance he had to Seth. The thing that made it even more frustrating was that his ego sky rocketed also. It also helped that at the time that the O.C aired he was starting University, so every drunk girl in the bar was throwing herself at him. Thank God that he was a pussy or he could have hit three digits by the time the semester was over, and I would have never heard the end of it. But back to Kristen Bell and her under the radar, dare I say nerdy hotness.

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Problem with People that purchase Macs

I have read numerous articles that portray mac users as men among boys. I have read that mac users on average hold higher than average IQ’s, are more computer savvy and generally are better people than non mac users. Get real, being a Mac user I can honestly say that using a mac on a daily basis can be frustratingly simple. The higher IQ holds true because Mac is known as being the computer of choice for any one involved in the arts, and thus more creative then us normal folk. Another reason why mac users tend to be smarter is that Cletus and his clan of inbred rednecks probably do not own a mac but they definitely own the PC that they saw on one of their weekly journeys to Walmart.

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