The Greatest Place on Earth

Well, this past week I went to what has become my wonderland. You know how kids love amusement parks well, the clubs have become my amusement park. And let me get this straight, I well defend the honor of any dancer to anybody, well not any dancer but most of them. You will run into your fair share of pimped-out, coked-out hustlers but those are easy to spot and easy to avoid. One rule I like to use is if the girl is white and has those tacky press on nails that are three inches long and she wears some sort of chain then you know to stay away. The funny thing is that these girls are so bad at there job that there really is no point in taking them to the back anyways. 

Can someone please explain to me why people decide that when two people are smoking outside that they can open up to all the perverted things that they do at strip clubs. I do not want to hear what girl sucked you off at the back or how much you paid for that service. I also do not want to hear about the threesome that cost you a weeks pay or how much money a girl hustled you for. Get this straight, dancers are there for one purpose and that is to make as much money as possible. It is an unfortunate side of the business but a lot of these girls are being beaten and fed drugs to keep them as amicable as possible.

One of the funniest things that I have heard is the girl that is actually dancing to put herself through school but cannot leave the business because they make too much money. I mean would you leave a job that is paying you a lot of money for an entry position job where you are looked down upon and treated basically as bad as a stripper is. I want the stigma that goes along with stripping to go away, that way we can get girls that basically pimp themselves out to get higher positions. Don’t get me wrong guys would do the same thing if they were in that position but getting a sex crazed supervisor/boss that would offer a guy a higher salary if he were to go down on her are few and far between. I mean, I would live on my knees if it would guarantee me a six figure salary by the time I was 30, but thats just me.

My point is that strippers are doing the same thing but just out in the open. Sure they have problems and are very easy to bed if you were to meet them for the first time out of the club. The problems do outweigh the good parts, but let me get this point across the positive aspects are usually only related to the bedroom, where your mind will be blown. The negative parts are that the girl is in all likely-hood fucking crazy and will want to make you fucking kill yourself, but the same thing can be said about any quote-on-quote normal girl. 

So my conclusion is that hooking up with a stripper can be fun for a few months but make sure that you are the trusting type because dropping off a girl at work that consists of her taking off her clothes and grinding on some dudes lap for 6 hours can be hard to swallow. 

Here are some videos of wannabe strippers 

Jessica Alba

Random Girls

Salma Hayek

Lindsey Lohan

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Alicia Keys Looking Hot But…

Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

Obsession of the Week: Britain

This week all I could think about was Britain and it’s impending recession that is going to level that country. Just playing, all could think about is the hot pieces of ass that have come from that great little island. There are way too many to write about so I will concentrate on only the few that make me feel like jerking it. First since I already did a post on her I am not going to mention my angel Kate Beckinsale. I’m going to start of with an oldy but a goody, Rachel Stevens, this girl was the only good thing about that Spice Girl rip off S Club 7. The rest of the girls looked like her retarded cousins when she walked into the room, like posh she was the best looking of the bunch but the worst singer, and therefore the most popular.

The next girl that I am crazy over from England is Cheryl Tweedy. I always thought that girls with dimples where more cute than sexy but after laying eyes on Cheryl Tweedy, I stand corrected. The popular saying now a days is that Cheryl Tweedy is trying to be like Posh, and at first glance the similarities are abundantly present, but unlike Posh Cheryl Tweedy is still really sexy and that differentiates her in my books.

The final girl on the list is a little of a butter face but her body is too crazy for words. I, of course am talking about Jennifer Ellison, this slut has the greatest body that I have ever seen. If her face matched her body the world would implode upon itself, it would be that unreal. I remember seeing her in UK Maxim when they were ranking the hottest women ever adn she came in the top 20 at the age of seventeen. And her body was still F’n crazy.

Honorable Mentions:

Keeley Hazel

Kelly Brook

Tila Tequilla Equals the American Dream

I remember stumbling across the MTV show “Shot at Love” and thinking who is this girl and why does she warrant a TV show of her own. I ended up Googling her later that day and after enjoying the work she did in the nude I decided to Wiki her and found out that she made her money with the only thing that is guaranteed to make money in this world, her tits and ass. These types of women make me feel good inside, they know that the only way that they are going to succeed in life is to play off the fantasy of men out there and guess what, it has been proven again, the bitch got her own TV show because men wanted to give it to her. These types of women usually just become strippers making more money than most of us for 6-7 years, but then get spit out by the industry looking on the outside how they feel on the inside. Give Tila credit for using the technology available to her for making her money.

Click to see Tila at her best

Here

Weekend Review: From Keeley to the Hottest Student Ever

The weekend review has a new look to it. I have decided to add some links because everybody likes links. Plus it is easier then uploading all the shit on the net, that motherfucker is big. but starting off first I’ve got to say that the pictures of Kim Kardashian withnout make-up do not look that bad. I can imagine meeting a girl that looks like Paris Hilton at a bar and after a few beers she might even look good enough to take home: I could also imagine having to bite my arm off at the shoulder when I wake up beside that horrid beast when the make-up is rubbed all over my pillows and sheets and the beer has worn off. Now Kim Kardashian is a face that I wouldn’t mind waking up to, now the only problem I have is finding a way to get her off the black cock (looking down), never mind.

I would also like to say that the US government said a big “Fuck You” to my man Wesley Snipes. Although not the best actor he was always an above average action star and it crazy that he has to spend 3 years in Jail. So long hombre.

And for the girl that drove me wild for about a week after I saw her in Wild Things, Denise Richards was looking hot for a fifty year old, wait she’s how old, never mind that she is still hot.

 

She’s back, Keeley Hazel showing the younger sluts how its done

Click Here

I wish girls looked like this when I went to College

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This Girl was rated number 7 in the world, WTF???

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The fucker who laughed in every SNL skit gets a job

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Amy “looks like death itself” Winehouse has juice now

Click Here

Alicia Keys is a sexy racist

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John Travolta is forced out of the closet by his mustache

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Weekly Dime: Jessica Beal

Looking at this girl I am left wanting something. Maybe I want Jessica to grab me and throw me around the room as she has her way with me, she is built like a tank and we all know she can probably kick our asses. Her body might be to manly for some as she has hit the gym pretty hard, but for me all the work she has put in has been well worth it, she is smoking hot. Again I have to visit the fact that Derek “my fucking idol” Jeter has hit this along with so many other TV and movie starlets, I have one thing to say I want Jeter’s life. 

Alessandra Ambrosio Looking Very Good

The other Brazilian model is looking pretty damn good for a pregnant chick. She has that sought after glow about her. Little does she know that this is the starting stages of when most pregnant women go to shit but she is a supermodel so normal rules tend not to apply. I considered her one of my favorites in the Victoria Secret staple, Adriana Lima by far is leading, but Alessandra Ambrosio inched up a bit on the totem pole with these pics. Looking at her in the white top all that goes through my head is “fucking amazing”. I love when skinny chicks get pregnant because the first few months in they start developing all these curves that were missing before but they don’t look fat, if anything they start looking more healthy and that shit drives me wild.