What’s That I Feel Growing?

I have recently been feeling a growing appreciation for the body of work of a Miss Gisele Bundchen. She always had her pluses but after some careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that Gisele is banging and Tom and Leonardo are some lucky s.o.b’s. What is it about Brazilian women that makes them so much better then other women. If you compare the ladies through all walks of life from the porn industry to the high fashion world, Brazilian’s seem to dominant other lesser creatures. When you have models like Lima, Ambrosio, and Gisele there really isn’t any competition. And I know that comparing pornstars to supermodels is like comparing apple’s to slightly rotten apples but I stand by my assessment that if you’re a female from Brazil you will either be a low budget porn star or a millionaire supermodel.

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Alicia Keys Looking Hot But…

Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

The Hills = Best Show on TV

I came up with an equation the other night that ranks The Hills as being the best show on TV. Listen carefully because this equation is complicated, it took me about five minutes to do the calculations and that is only because I am somewhat of a genius. It goes a little something like this, Lauren + Audrina + Whitney + Heidi – Lauren’s friend/ male douches = Best Show on TV. Now let me explain the way I came up with this, I was flipping through the channels when Audrina and Lauren caught my eye, they aren’t that hot but they do rank as solid 8 out 10’s. So I began thinking back, how many shows feature so many girls that I would throw it to? The answer not many, in fact I can’t think of a show that is about nothing that has so many girls that I would bang. And on the plus side sometimes those douches that nail the girls on the show say something funny that justifies them being on the show, other then teaching men everywhere how to treat spoiled rich girls, for the layman that is treat them like shit and they will always come back for more.

**update: on second thought after quickly scanning the photos below I have downgraded my initial rating of an 8 to between a 7-7.5; still equals best show ever though

Obsession of the Week: Britain

This week all I could think about was Britain and it’s impending recession that is going to level that country. Just playing, all could think about is the hot pieces of ass that have come from that great little island. There are way too many to write about so I will concentrate on only the few that make me feel like jerking it. First since I already did a post on her I am not going to mention my angel Kate Beckinsale. I’m going to start of with an oldy but a goody, Rachel Stevens, this girl was the only good thing about that Spice Girl rip off S Club 7. The rest of the girls looked like her retarded cousins when she walked into the room, like posh she was the best looking of the bunch but the worst singer, and therefore the most popular.

The next girl that I am crazy over from England is Cheryl Tweedy. I always thought that girls with dimples where more cute than sexy but after laying eyes on Cheryl Tweedy, I stand corrected. The popular saying now a days is that Cheryl Tweedy is trying to be like Posh, and at first glance the similarities are abundantly present, but unlike Posh Cheryl Tweedy is still really sexy and that differentiates her in my books.

The final girl on the list is a little of a butter face but her body is too crazy for words. I, of course am talking about Jennifer Ellison, this slut has the greatest body that I have ever seen. If her face matched her body the world would implode upon itself, it would be that unreal. I remember seeing her in UK Maxim when they were ranking the hottest women ever adn she came in the top 20 at the age of seventeen. And her body was still F’n crazy.

Honorable Mentions:

Keeley Hazel

Kelly Brook

Tila Tequilla Equals the American Dream

I remember stumbling across the MTV show “Shot at Love” and thinking who is this girl and why does she warrant a TV show of her own. I ended up Googling her later that day and after enjoying the work she did in the nude I decided to Wiki her and found out that she made her money with the only thing that is guaranteed to make money in this world, her tits and ass. These types of women make me feel good inside, they know that the only way that they are going to succeed in life is to play off the fantasy of men out there and guess what, it has been proven again, the bitch got her own TV show because men wanted to give it to her. These types of women usually just become strippers making more money than most of us for 6-7 years, but then get spit out by the industry looking on the outside how they feel on the inside. Give Tila credit for using the technology available to her for making her money.

Click to see Tila at her best

Here

Weekend Review: From Keeley to the Hottest Student Ever

The weekend review has a new look to it. I have decided to add some links because everybody likes links. Plus it is easier then uploading all the shit on the net, that motherfucker is big. but starting off first I’ve got to say that the pictures of Kim Kardashian withnout make-up do not look that bad. I can imagine meeting a girl that looks like Paris Hilton at a bar and after a few beers she might even look good enough to take home: I could also imagine having to bite my arm off at the shoulder when I wake up beside that horrid beast when the make-up is rubbed all over my pillows and sheets and the beer has worn off. Now Kim Kardashian is a face that I wouldn’t mind waking up to, now the only problem I have is finding a way to get her off the black cock (looking down), never mind.

I would also like to say that the US government said a big “Fuck You” to my man Wesley Snipes. Although not the best actor he was always an above average action star and it crazy that he has to spend 3 years in Jail. So long hombre.

And for the girl that drove me wild for about a week after I saw her in Wild Things, Denise Richards was looking hot for a fifty year old, wait she’s how old, never mind that she is still hot.

 

She’s back, Keeley Hazel showing the younger sluts how its done

Click Here

I wish girls looked like this when I went to College

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This Girl was rated number 7 in the world, WTF???

Click Here

The fucker who laughed in every SNL skit gets a job

Click Here

Amy “looks like death itself” Winehouse has juice now

Click Here

Alicia Keys is a sexy racist

Click Here

John Travolta is forced out of the closet by his mustache

Click Here

Weekly Dime: Jessica Beal

Looking at this girl I am left wanting something. Maybe I want Jessica to grab me and throw me around the room as she has her way with me, she is built like a tank and we all know she can probably kick our asses. Her body might be to manly for some as she has hit the gym pretty hard, but for me all the work she has put in has been well worth it, she is smoking hot. Again I have to visit the fact that Derek “my fucking idol” Jeter has hit this along with so many other TV and movie starlets, I have one thing to say I want Jeter’s life. 

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